Head in the clouds at 16

Sweet sixteen When you were 16, what did you think your life would look like? Does it look like that? Is that a good thing?

I think at 16 we all had big dreams. When I was 16 I was on on my high school basketball team, serving as a bench warming point guard. I was an aspiring artist who wanted to be a lawyer, and of course I was in love with my best friend Justin. My friends and I talked about aspiring to be in the then developing WNBA…I had high hopes for my future.

I’m pretty sure that all of the plans that I had for my future turned out vastly different than reality has turned out.

Things I thought @ 16+; “MY kid will never act like that”, I as unbreakable, my family was perfect, I’d never get out of Ohio (wanted to go south)

14567974_10209119920109359_1493929050006860554_n (1).jpg

At 12-14 my aspirations were actually pretty funny. I wanted to be a professional BMX racer (race bikes), I was in love with the lifeguard at the pool (who was probably in his 20s no less; I think it was because I thought he was secretly a BMXer named Pistol Pete because they looked alike), I loved the Cleveland Browns, I’m pretty sure my relatives were just “concerned” with me, I could be any boy in the neighborhood in a BMX or ATV race, and really…I was just in a different world than 12 and 14 year olds now.

Reality; my kid DID act like that, she has Aspergers, I am breakable, I’m twice divorced, I’m single and loving it, live in Indiana, NOT a lawyer (or a doctor!), will never be out of debt, I’m out of shape, and so far – getting by.

Life definitely isn’t easy. There is no promise that it will be easy. I know God is behind me no matter what. He has literally been my rock. If you knew my family – you would understand why I can say that and mean it. But without God and His grace, I wouldn’t be here today. Grace is a gift from God, it is unmerited.

No matter what our dreams are, we can still strive for them. The reality of my 16 year old dreams is they were not God’s plans for me. God has brought me here, to this very place in my life. He didn’t want me to be a doctor or a lawyer. While I was going through an abusive first marriage I wondered why God would put me through that. Because it made me stronger. It gave me backbone. It made me cynical. And it made me survive. Also – had all of those bad things not happened, my daughter and I would not be where we are today. 

Accomplishing my 16 year old dreams is okay. Now I have new dreams – move to a WARMER state, get out of debt, be in a job where God wants me to be (because otherwise I’ll screw it up somehow), buy a house…and probably be in a relationship where I can make someone happy – just by being me.


What are YOUR dreams? And how do they differ from your 16 year old self?




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s