When you are away from family, loss can be much harder.
My aunt Janet passed away yesterday, after a short illness. There were two people constantly by her side, her husband whom she always fought with (husband #4?) and my mom (her half sister). My mom was at the hospital so much, that a nurse thanked her for being so faithful. I believe she was also thanking her for not being mean and nasty – and probably for being one of the few in the family who didn’t threaten to punch someone out.
Death can definitely change one’s perspective on what is important and what’s not. To my aunt – God was never even a thought. He was more of a laugh. But as she lie in her dying bed she knew she was wrong. She wanted to get her act together. She wanted to become a better person. She made plans to move in with my mom and get her life straight. She wanted to pray to to change her life, so she did.
These lyrics seem fitting; Deathbed as sung by Relient K
I can smell the death on the sheets
I can’t believe this is the end
I can hear those sad memories
Still haunting me
So many things
I’d do again
But this is my deathbed
I lie here alone
If I close my eyes tonight
I know I’ll be home
What is ironic, is a few days after my aunt said that life changing prayer she was moved to hospice. A couple of her friends and the chaplain came to visit. They were praying and as they were praying my aunt took her final breath.
Unfortunately I live in Indiana and my family lives in Ohio. I have been sick so unable to be with family. Tomorrow, after working a 12 hour day I will drive out to pick up my daughter from college, and we will drive almost 4 hours east to Ohio. I’m hoping to be able to be in by 1 or 2am. I’m sad that I couldn’t be there for my mom – but I will be there when I can. Unfortunately “adulting” comes at a price.
The below gif is how I fee some days: