I’m so tired of pretending. It seems like my whole life is a lie. From the very moment of my birth, the name of the man on my birth certificate is a lie. Me being told my parents were my parents is a lie. Lie, lie, lie.
I can understand why it as done. Coming out with an affair would have shattered two families and destroyed lives. So “he” (the bio dad) convinced my mom that I wasn’t his – and life went on. But funny how life works…you just usually can’t get a darker kid from two light skinned parents. And you can’t typically get a dark hard kid from a blond and a ginger. But it’s all good – really it is.
Why now? My biological father passed away this week. He was a great man. Probably one of the best men I know. He was kind, sensitive, loved his family….a true gentleman.
But in one sense I’m tired of pretending. I have a daughter who doesn’t know her cousins. Cousins who are JUST LIKE HER. She doesn’t know family – WHO SHE IS JUST LIKE. And…there is NOTHING I can do about it because “officially” I DON’T EXIST IN THEIR WORLD!
So that’s my prayer. that they’ll accept my daughter and I, and my parents. That everything will work out – and peace will be made. And at lest my daughter can make a gradual friendship between her cousins…