Caution…Detour Ahead!

There are times in life that each of us struggles. About two years ago I went through a major life change, the big “D”. And really…I thought I was doing well (besides the fact that I’m basically a recluse). Tonight though a bombshell was dropped, and I came to the realization that my oh-so-perfect life was lacking.

While I’ve led a good and moral life in the two years since the big “d”, I’m also lacking, which is just as bad. How have I been lacking? 1) I’ve been complacent with holing up, 2) I’be been lukewarm, 3) I’be been dead inside, and 4) I’ve lacked forgiveness. For item #1, I’ve been okay with just living. No more. I’m ready to move on, to start over, to really move forward and just allow myself to feel human again. #2 – lukewarm. This is worse than being hot or cold at something, because I just “was”.

I was…

  • numb inside and outside, nothing bothered me, I felt nothing. That has to change.

 

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My final point on forgiveness is forgiveness of self. Through these last two years, my biggest critic was probably myself. I see people from “before” and they refuse to look at me, and I analyze. I don’t know who to blame. So from today forward, I’m doing just that…moving forward. Putting one foot in front of the other, being human, and living life to it’s fullest.

Life has a way of throwing detours at us. We cannot avoid these detour moments in life…no matter how hard we try. Funny thing is, often our destiny comes about via detour. I am at this point in my life because of a detour. The detour called divorce. I had not planned it, yet it happened.

When we are on the detour, are we faithful? Do we keep our head up and stay strong? Do we maintain our integrity? It is when we are at our lowest, when the detours of life get us down, that we must remain vigilant. Some of the greatest people out there had detours in life that shaped who they are. Muhammed Ali is a great example. How did he become so great? Because of a stolen bike at age of 12. When he stated to a police officer that he wanted to beat up the person that took his bike, he was told he better learn to fight before he started challenging people. And so a great legend was born.

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What is your detour? Is it a divorce? A blended family? A new job? A lost job? Whatever your detour is or was, how do you see it as life changing? How can we turn that bad detour into something positive? Had I not divorced, I would not be the strong person that I am today. My daughter (17 year old college student) would not be the strong young woman she is today. She has been molded into the loving, merciful, young woman that she is because of a detour. She told me not too long ago that had the divorce not happened she knows she would not be half the person she is today. She now knows inner strength, she now knows detours that may seem shattering at the time shape us and make us stronger people in the future.

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Adventures – A 2nd chance

An adventure is defined as;

  • noun -an unusual and exciting, typically hazardous, experience or activity.
  • verb –¬†engage in hazardous and exciting activity, especially the exploration of unknown territory.

In a sense, when we embark on something new, it could be an adventure. Whether it be a new job, a major move, a life change…many of these things could qualify as an “adventure.”

Recently I have undergone some major changes, and am about to set off on my own adventure. I will be setting off on something unusual and exciting, and for me, something unknown. My “plan” is to move from where I live, to another state, where I know no one and to start anew. Why? For too many reasons to discuss on here today.

For too long, I have been complacent. I have been on the fence. I have been lukewarm. However, I have come to realize that living on the fence is not living at all. So I have decided that for me, I need to get outside of my comfort zone. I need to leave my natural habitat and embark on something new.

Perhaps this quotation by Drew Houston says it best: “There are 30,000 days in your life. When I was 24, I realized I’m almost 9,000 days down. There are no warm-ups, no practice rounds, no reset buttons. Your biggest risk isn’t failing, it’s getting too comfortable. Every day, we’re writing a few more words of a story. I wanted my story to be an adventure and that’s made all the difference.”